It’s a New Year. New goals! New habits! A New You.
If it were only that easy.
We wake up on New Year’s Day overfed and hung-over, and vow to change. We make resolutions under duress and then think they will stick around all year. And if you’re like most of us, they usually don’t. This is often because we don’t take into consideration the strength of our negative habits, and the challenge of changing them.
In reality, simple habits drive most of our behaviors, especially around food. We eat the same things most every day. We go to the same coffee shop. We drive the same route to work. We do all this without any thought that these are just habits. Habits are unconscious. What if our habit of eating a cookie every day at 3pm is just a habit, and nothing else? Not a statement on our willpower, not a sign we are losers, but just an unconscious habit?
In “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg, he explains that every habit has three components; a cue, which is the trigger for the behavior, a routine, which is the behavior itself, and a reward, which is how your brain decides if it wants to repeat that behavior. Duhigg believes that if we can focus on changing the cue or the reward, we can interrupt the automatic behavior and thus change the habit.
Cues are one of 5 categories- time of day, place, presence of certain people, emotion and ritualized behavior. Think about these kinds of cues as you are performing your particular habit. Are the cues driving your habit? If you can change the cue- the place, the person, the time- then you may be able to change the habit. For example, I often pick and graze when waiting for dinner. What if I did not wait in the kitchen, but went upstairs instead? I could remove myself from the kitchen and get aware before heading down to the delicious smelling kitchen. (Smells are big time cues! Do you crave a hamburger when you drive by Burger King and smell the grilling? Me too!)
Now, think about the rewards. What is the reward for your habit? Let’s say your habit is eating cookies at 3pm every day. What is your reward? Is the reward diminishing hunger? If so, then another food may do just as well. Or, is it that you need a break from work? Could you take a short walk instead? Try and figure out what potential reward the cookie represents. Could you imagine another equally satisfying reward? It is possible. But it takes awareness, accountability, and a desire for long lasting change.
Unconscious overeating is a common habit many people battle. My clients often blame themselves for their diet failures because they say they have no “willpower”. But, overcoming bad habits is a factor of brain chemistry, not willpower. Research has proven that cell to cell connections in the brain are responsible for our habits.
Why we overeat is actually complex, and it’s not due to a lack of willpower. The subconscious brain starts this process, often triggered by childhood memories or deep rooted emotions like anger or sadness. Chemicals secreted by the brain are sent to the digestive system, which signal the release of hormones. These hormones cause hunger and the desire to eat, even when we may not really be hungry. For example, as a child, your Mom served ice cream every night after dinner. It is easy to see that this can become a habit. But, take it a step further. What if dinner is a time when your family argued? As a child, you are stressed out at dinner. Then a miracle occurs…..ice cream is served. Trauma and stress is followed by reward…ice cream! Over time, the brain cells that store the memory of the stress and trauma connect directly to the brain cells that tell us ice cream is a delicious reward. Fast forward to today. Any negative emotion or stress triggers your brain cells to want ice cream, and these cells send signals to your gut to increase hunger and cravings.
This is why trying to just eliminate a bad habit does not work. You are trying to change brain chemistry and brain connections. Your brain is hardwired to still want reward. But, you can change the reward itself to a healthier one. And you can change the cue so that your brain does not make the connection between the cue and the reward. You can do all of this if you stay aware and conscious.